Anything in the World

“If you could ask for anything in the world, what would it be?”
I have only a vague idea why I was commissioned with drawing the answer to that question out of every Neverhoodian. And I won't delve into conspirational theories. To me none of that mattered anyway. Just the sheer pleasure of exploring their most inner wishes was enough for me. I only regret that the ability to make them talk – some of them within minutes, others within weeks – didn't last after the commission was over. If I had to guess I'd say that it was taken from me as it had been bestowed upon me. But then again, that hardly matters now.
When I see the faces of those Hoodians today, in the sketchy vision of the OPS, for a brief moment I remember what they have told me. For a short instance delight surges through me – I have you on the palm of my hand, for I know what you truly want. But then I smile, and speak, and merely play with that thought like a cat plays with a mouse it has no intention of eating. I'm not going to misuse that information.
I have to admit, some of their wishes made my hair stand on its end. I wondered how such beings can even live on the Neverhood, with such darkness in their hearts. But those were only a few among many who, truly, out of the bottom of their souls, wished for the silliest of things.
“If I could have anything in the world, I'd want a banjo.” It was Klayzi who told me that, as soon as I asked, and in his twinkling eyes I saw that he truly wanted nothing else, for he was so completely happy and conceited with his life.
This kind of answers came mostly from the original twenty, the ones with their heart on their palm and truth in their eyes, and I was so happy to live in a land which is full of such people.
However, there were also those who were not so conceited. Those who doubted, themselves or others, those who were unhappy about something. Who wished dearly for these things to be fixed.
“I wish that Tao and I could find our own way in this world,” Krlesh told me. This man, who had been dubbed “the grumpy guy” and who posed as one of the most disliked residents of the Neverhood, had managed not to turn bitter living in a world that he found wrong and fake. It was so utterly heart-warming that I nearly cried.
And it wasn't just that I got these people to admit the genuine goodness they had inside. Fishing out their innermost wishes was fascinating. It was like peeling them off layer by layer, uncovering discontent under happiness, anger under discontent, sadness under anger, and the wish to make everything better under that sadness. Their hearts weren't on the palm of their hands, but they were reachable, and they were governed by love.
“I wish that everyone would see how happy lovemaking could make them,” Kalikat admitted.
The line was unclear, but gradually these people morphed into those who had given up hope on making everything better. Most of them denied it. The amount of layers these people had was astounding, even to me. And they weren't even aware of them. Their wishes changed depending on how deep in their minds I was, forcing me rely solely on the sense of “this is it” I had so gracefully obtained. They were so confusing. Amazing, but confusing.
It took me a very long time until I realised that Nehmen, who kept doggedly repeating “I want her back”, didn't actually know what he wanted. He wasn't ready to let go and he wasn't strong enough to keep holding on. I postponed talking to him hoping that by the time I was finished with the others, he would figure out what he wanted. Apparently a year wasn't enough for him. I resigned to report that he couldn't decide, upon realisation that it was a valid answer in itself.
However... Some of the wishes I heard were downright chilling. After weeks upon weeks of building up his trust, Krevel told me in a quiet voice that he wished to stop caring. He had a specific person on his mind and it filled my bones with ice to think about what he must have gone through for this to become his dearest wish. Ruze the Guardian, who was incredibly hard to approach, confessed in the end that he wanted to be reborn, somewhere else, very far away.
And as the icing on the cake, air was squeezed out of my lungs when Tao said “If I could ask for anything, I would ask for death,” and she meant it.
I reported all of these wishes dutifully and I was rewarded for a job well done. In spite of the dark moments, it was a thrilling experience. But the report wouldn't be complete without my wish.
“I want to meet him in person.”


     

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