GeniturePart 1: On the Other SideIn a place we call the other side, two souls spoke to each other. It was a quiet conversation between Quater and one of the many souls that lived on the other side. It went on something like this…“Hello, Quater. Thank you for taking the time to talk to me, of all the souls that surely request an audience with you every day.” “Think of it as nothing, my friend. The souls of this universe are still young and shy, and very few have the courage to speak to me directly. What is it you wish, soul from the universe of my older brother?” “Quater, I am in search of a happy life. I have been reincarnated countless time, but I have found all those lives empty and sad. I thought: There must be a world in the universe where I can live happily. The universe is old and vast, and the world of my dreams must be out there somewhere. “Yet no matter how many times I stepped through the Door to the living side, I always stumbled upon wars, famine and injustice to the weak. I could not take it. I spoke to your brother and I asked him to take me through the Door himself, so that I could be born into the happy life I sought. But he said: ‘What you ask, I cannot do for you. Too many souls ask of me: Take me to the happy life, master. They do not realise that a happy life is something only they can earn. Make good deeds and you will live happily wherever you live.’ “I contemplated this, Quater, for a very long time. I came to the conclusion that, indeed, I am the only one who can complete my search. I must not rely on the Door, for the Door is deaf to those who ask. I cannot rely on your brother, for he has once stepped through the Door himself. The Door has power over him now and he won’t cross its path. “On my own accord I crossed the Chasm, a feat your brother deemed impossible, and I have come to you. The souls of your universe are young and shy, as you have said, and they will not think of your help to me as a precedent. Your guidance through the Door will lie forgotten by the time anyone works up the courage to ask what I am asking. And I am asking: Is there a world in your universe where I could live happily forever, and will you take me there?” “My friend, I am struck by your courage. No one has ever dared to ask me to alter the flow of souls within the Door. It is imprudence and temerity. And I am tempted too much to pass. I will help you through the Door. I have studied its workings since Father created me and I can influence them if I wish. I ask only one thing of you: to keep my help a secret.” “Of course, Quater. I shall never tell anyone.” “Very well. You are lucky, my friend, to have come to me now. Had you come any sooner than eighty years ago, I would have been sad to tell you that among the worlds in my universe, there is none where you could lead a happy life for ever. But you have come in the right time, and I am glad to tell you that I know just the place.” Part 2: Somewhere Far, Far AwaySomewhere far, far away there was a room and that room was a total mess. There were six kings in that room, and they were all snoring loudly.“They seem to be rather incapacitated,“ a red being whispered, looking round. “No kidding,“ a yellow being snorted, stepping over a pile of purple goo. “Who are these people?“ An orange being cackled. “Sie sind echt besoffen.“ Yellow turned to look at Red. “Why's he talking like that?“ Red shrugged. “I don't know. Try talk to him.“ Yellow stood square before Orange. “Hello. Who are you?“ he asked slowly. Orange blinked at him stupidly. “Was sagst du?“ Yellow eyed him with annoyance. “Who. Are. You?“ “Hoo - aa - iuu?“ Orange repeated. Yellow rolled his eyes and waved his hand dismissively. “It's no use,“ he said and came to Red's side. “As I said, who are they?“ “Maybe we could ask them,“ Red suggested. “Good idea.“ Yellow shook the shoulder of the nearest king. “Hey. Wake up.“ The king groaned and batted his hand away. Yellow grew impatient. “I said wake up!“ The king moaned and cracked an eye open. “What do you want?“ “Who are you?“ Yellow asked gruffly. “I'm BertBert, son of Quater. Who are you?“ Yellow was taken aback by that question. He straightened, cast a look to Red and finally said: “I... don't know.“ “At least you don't claim to be BertBert,“ king BertBert sighed. “Ugh, I feel sick!“ Apparently he wasn't the only sick one in the room. Talking roused the other kings as well and the room was filling with groans. A yellow king with a blue crown vomited rainbow. “Ottoborg, are you alright?“ another king asked him with concern in his deep voice. He came to Ottoborg's side and patted his back. And then he heaved and retched cubes. “What in the world...“ Yellow shook his head in disgust. “Are they okay?“ Red asked in a small voice. “Of course they're okay, it's not like they're - hey! Hey! What are you doing?“ Orange was holding one of the rainbow cubes in his fingers and he was sniffing at it curiously. “Don't eat that, it's -“ Yellow was cut off when Orange placed the cube inside his mouth and chewed slowly. Yellow placed his palm across his face and mumbled: “Idiot.“ Orange broke into a smile. “Es ist gut!“ he proclaimed while scooping more of the rainbow covered cubes into his hand. The cube-producing king stared at him. “Um, hello. My name is Hoborg, sixth son of Quater. May I ask you - blueegh - who you are and why you are eating my vomit?“ Orange gave Hoborg a thumbs-up. “Es ist echt lecker! Wie machst du es?“ “I'm sorry, I don't understand you...“ While these two were attempting to have a conversation, Yellow tried asking several others who they were. The kings introduced themselves as Numeron, Arven and Homen, sons of Quater and kings of various lands. They inquired who Yellow was and how they got here. Yellow had no answer to those questions. “Alright everyone, listen up!“ he yelled when he was done, clapping his hands to grab everyone's attention. “I've got a few questions for you all. First off, what happened here?“ “Party haaaard...“ Ottoborg tried to cheer, but his stomach turned halfway through and he sprayed Yellow with rainbow. Yellow took a step back. “I thought that much. Next question, where are we?“ Everyone was straining their memory at that. “I think we're... in Quater's mansion at the end of space and time?“ Homen offered. His guess was met with approving grunts. “Uh-huh. Who is Quater?“ “I have a better question,“ Arven interrupted. “Who are you?“ Yellow was trying to look as dignified as he could while he stated: “We don't know. It would be nice if you told us.“ “I don't remember you from last night,“ Hoborg said. “But the truth is, I don't remember much of last night. Anyone, do you know who these guys are?“ “They look like your creations,“ Numeron suggested. Hoborg examined the three beings. “Yes, the red one definitely looks Hoodian,“ he admitted. “But the hoophead looks like Ottoborg's creation.“ “Me?“ Ottoborg asked, confused. “What?“ Gingerly, Yellow stepped closer to him until he towered over Ottoborg. “Is it possible that you have created me?“ Ottoborg squinted at him. “I don't know you. Are you a ghost?“ Yellow wasn't confused, having already deemed this king's sanity as inferior. “No, I'm not a ghost.“ “In that case, you can't be my kid,“ Ottoborg concluded. Hoborg looked like he was about to say something, but thought better of it. Yellow beckoned to him. “What did you want to say?“ Hoborg stared at him blankly. “I've forgotten.“ Yellow sighed. “Right. And what about that guy?“ he motioned toward Orange. “He looks like a Neverhoodian,“ BertBert said. “Well... the colours are a little off...“ Hoborg thought aloud, “and that stem... no, I don't think that he's my creation.“ Orange noticed that everyone was staring at him. “Was? Wollen sie 'was? Ich habe alles gegessen, sie können nichts mehr haben. Oder waaas? Warum seht ihr mich so an? Bin ich hässlich oder was?“ Orange gave himself a quick look. “Mein Gott, ich bin hässlich! Diese Kleidung ist schrecklich! Seht mich nicht an!“ Hoborg leaned to Ottoborg. “What language do you think that is?“ Ottoborg shrugged. “No idea. Better get going.“ “Wait, we still haven't established who they belong to!“ “Ain't that obvious? They belong to you,“ Ottoborg stated and left the messy room. Part 3: On the NeverhoodAs the council had established, it was Hoborg’s duty to take the three new-borns to their new home, the Neverhood. Hoborg was trying to think of it as an honour. But he couldn’t help feeling annoyed, despite his big heart. Yellow was constantly shooting questions and demanding swift and efficient answers. Orange didn’t stop babbling in his displeasing language for a minute. At least Red was quiet and docile. Hoborg was quite happy with that being. He was even willing to believe that Red was his son.The journey didn’t take too long. It was because Hoborg had asked Quater specifically to hold the council close to the Neverhood. He didn’t want to leave his sons for any longer than he had to. And now the colourful island was in plain view. “Wooow,” Red exclaimed softly and blinked a few times. “Is that?...” he pointed at the chunk of land floating around in nothingness. “Yes,” Hoborg nodded with certain self-satisfaction. “It’s so beautiful,” Red sighed happily. “It’s great that we’ll be able to live on your world, Hoborg.” “I can see the beings now,” Yellow said. “Hey, is it… is it really that small?” Hoborg shrugged. Yellow looked distinctly displeased with the size of the Neverhood. Orange tried to spit into the Lake. When Hoborg and company finally touched down, they were instantly surrounded by Neverhoodians cheering and welcoming Hoborg back. Hoborg thanked them and asked them for a few minutes of silence. “Everybody, I’d like to introduce someone to you. These guys are your new brothers!” “Half a cheer for the new guys!” someone shouted. “Hip hip – hoo!” was the answer. “They don’t have names yet, but I’m sure you can come up with some,” Hoborg suggested. “That frowning hoophead – let’s name him Kain!” someone yelled. Laughter and chanting “Kain, Kain!” followed. Strangely enough, Orange laughed and chanted as well, as if he could understand the joke. Yellow leaned over to Hoborg and whispered: “Is that a reference?” “Um, why yes, it is. Kain was a farmer. He killed his brother because he felt unrecognised.” Confusion and anger sprang to Yellow’s face. “Why do they want to name me after a murderer?” Red leaned in. “I think it’s because of the way you’re glaring at them.” Yellow smacked his lips. “Well I don’t like it. I’ll come up with my own name.” “As you wish,” Hoborg said. “Go now. Explore your new home. I’ll be in the Throne Room if you need me.” “Um,” Red touched Hoborg’s shoulder before the king could leave. “Where is the Throne Room?” “Your brothers will show you the way if you ask them,” Hoborg said kindly. “Okay. Thank you,” Red said and smiled. Hoborg walked through the Neverhood, overjoyed to be back again. He hadn’t been gone for longer than a week, but he had still missed the friendly land. Feeling the soft klay under his feet was making him happier with every step he made. He made no dilly-dally as he headed to the Castle. He knew that Klaymen and Willie Trombone would be waiting there, expecting his arrival. He had asked them to keep the Castle safe while he was gone and he didn’t doubt their adherence. “I’m back!” he greeted loudly upon entering through the main gate. He heard rushing footsteps. And then Willie and Klaymen rounded a corner and ran to him with arms outstretched. Hoborg was nearly tackled to the ground. He returned their enthusiastic embrace, laughing. “Yes, yes, my friends. I missed you too.” “We had a huuge party, Hoborg!” Willie exclaimed. “In the BOBBY room! Everyone was there – and everybody drunk!” Hoborg wasn’t too pleased to hear that his sons took this opportunity while he was away. “Is everybody alright?” he asked. “Yep. But Kceler and Khouba – they had a fight. A huuuge fight. They speak together no more. Kceler is really, really angry about something! And no one knows what it is! Oh, and Frenchie didn’t party. Did you know that Frenchie don’t like party? Willie didn’t…” Willie was tapped on the shoulder. He looked around to see Klaymen, who had long since let go of Hoborg. Willie looked back at Hoborg, then down at his arms which were still firmly wrapped around the king. “Oh…” He let go. “Hoborg back. Willie happy,” he concluded his report. “I’m happy to be back as well, Willie,” Hoborg replied. “Has anything else happened other than this huge party?” “Not really, no,” Klaymen said. “But we saw three beings coming with you. Who are they?” Hoborg explained it as best he could, given that he didn’t remember how the beings had come to live, when, or if he’d had a part in it. As soon as he mentioned a hoophead, Willie jumped three feet in the air with excitement and ran off to meet his sibling. Hoborg watched his spiked back shrink with silent amusement. “I’m a little worried that the hoophead won’t meet Willie’s expectations,” he remarked. “He’s a lot stricter than any of Willie’s brothers.” “Evil?” Klaymen asked. “Why would you ask that?” Hoborg replied in surprise. Klaymen shrugged. “Sounds mean.” Hoborg scratched his chin. “I don’t think he is evil. He’s tactless and impatient, but not evil. You should see him talking to the orange boy. He can’t understand a thing and I can see that it irritates him very much, yet he keeps trying to come through. And he defends him. He defends both his brothers, every time he feels they can come to harm.” “That orange one,” Klaymen said, brushing his lower lip with his finger. “What language does he speak?” Hoborg shrugged helplessly. “Gibberish. I can’t understand a word. He speaks too fast.” “I’ve got something that might help.” Klaymen pushed a button on his chest and reached into his chest compartment. He pulled out a small red box with a lever. “It’s a translator. Jerry-O gave it to me so that I could understand Skullmonkey tongue. It manages several languages though.” Hoborg examined the box. “That would help immensely. Will you lend it to him?” Klaymen nodded. “Sure. All he has to do is to tune it.” Hoborg asked Klaymen to accompany him outside, so that Klaymen could explain how the box worked directly to Orange. Klaymen agreed, as he had nothing better to do and he wanted to meet the newbies as well. They happened upon Red at the end of the spiked bridge. Since Red was coming to see Hoborg anyway, he joined Hoborg and Klaymen on their way. “How are your first impressions of my sons, boy?” Hoborg asked. “Oh, um… They’re loud,” Red said with a smile of apology. Klaymen gave Red a huge smile. Hoborg didn’t understand why at first, but then he remembered that Klaymen’s first impression of his new brothers was exactly the same. “But you will find out that they are good folk,” Hoborg insisted, slightly alarmed. “I don’t doubt that,” Red assured him quickly. “I just… well, spending the first two days of my life with only you and my brothers, and then suddenly coming into such a big crowd… It was sudden. You know,” and he made a vague gesture. “I see. Well, you can take your time with meeting them,” Hoborg shrugged. “Have you chosen a name for yourself yet?” “No, I haven’t really had time to think about that. But um… can I ask you something?” Red examined Hoborg. “All those things they’re saying, is it really true? About the creation of the Neverhood, your journey to the Mountain of Best Klay and… about Klogg and Klaymen?” He looked at Klaymen with unabashed curiosity. Klaymen stared back at Red, head tilted to the side. Hoborg cleaned his throat. “It is true. My sons tend to exaggerate a little when it comes to telling this story, but it’s true in essence. You can read the tale in detail in the Hall of Records.” “That long white hallway?” “That’s it. The whole story is written there. If you want to know even more, you can ask Willie or Klaymen. Have you met Willie yet?” “It was impossible not to meet him,” Red smiled. “He stands out.” He looked at his feet while he continued. “I want to ask another thing. Hoborg… do you think that my brothers will be happy here? One of them thinks that the place is too crowded. And the other can’t talk to anyone because he speaks a different tongue. And… they look different too. I was hoping that my yellow brother could become friends with Willie since they’re both hoopheads. But they’re nothing alike, really. So… won’t they become… lonely here?” Hoborg stopped walking to put his hand on Red’s shoulders. “The Neverhood is a friendly land. They will be accepted if they wish to, despite their differences. Don’t worry about them… my son.” Red’s face lit up. “Thank you… father.” It seemed that he was a bit redder than usual when he began walking again. “I think we’re near. I can hear that language.” “Die Kronen! Sie waren groß! Größer als du! Größer als du! Und sie waren getrunken, echt getrunken!“
Hoborg, Red and Klaymen walked around the corner to see Orange in the middle of a laughing group. Obviously language barrier meant nothing to him. He was making up for it with wild gestures and facial expressions.
Hoborg spun around, shouting: “No!” He staggered and his vision fogged. Then he saw Orange standing in front of him with a surprised expression on his face and Hoborg’s crown in his hands.
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