The Dam
The day Nike meets Razi is a good day.He’s travelling alone on that day. He has left Klogg at the camp site; he was getting insufferable. Nike always thought that he’d be able to withstand the change. But Klogg’s new personality, the evil, the loathing, the self-hatred… it’s all wearing on him. So it’s good to be alone for a change.
Air streams through his lungs comfortably as he jogs toward the lonely mountain on the horizon. He has heard that there was a lake on its top, cool and crystal clear. He wants to see it. Legend has it that if you climb the steep mountain side and look into the lake, you will see the one you love the most. Nike doesn’t believe the legend, but he does like the challenge. Up and down the mountain in a day, testing his strength and stamina, forgetting about everything for a while.
At the foot of the mountain, he arrives at a village. It huddles under a majestic dam which looms above it, massive and solid. Nike chats up an old man lounging in the morning sunlight, and learns that he is in the Pato village. He’s trying to find out if someone has tea to sell when he hears a deep rumble that shakes him up from his toes to his hoop. His first thought is an earthquake.
“Oh no!” the old man cries out, looking over Nike’s shoulder. The hoophead whirls around. “The dam! We should have listened to the prospector… Now it’s going to kill us all!” Cracks are beginning to run through the high stone wall. Absolutely ideal, flashes through Nike’s mind, it has to crash down on the day I come to see it.
He grabs the old man by the shoulders. “Do you have somewhere safe to hide?”
The man nods in fear and points. “We built a bunker below the town hall just for this case…”
Nike wastes no time. He sweeps the old man up, catches a child running by him screaming and he dashes to the town hall. Already villagers are crowding at the door, hurrying inside.
“Is there anyone in the village who can’t walk?” Nike barks, setting the old man and the child down. “I’ll bring them here!”
“A-at the west end,” a woman stammers, wringing her hands, “my grandma lives there. Please save her!”
“Have you seen my son?” a man cries out.
Nike nods and breaks into a sprint.
There’s another tremor. And another. He can see water bursting through the dam now. He so rarely runs at his top speed. But now he’s giving it all he’s got. Zapping around, feeling his lungs heave, thinking the wave is going to sweep our camp as well and terribly, fearfully unable to do anything about it. If I get caught up in the wave, will I survive?
He’s scanning the houses one by one, shouting “Is anyone here?”, when a boulder crashes into the middle of the village. Nike only sees it from the corner of his eye, but he could swear that it came from the direction opposite to the dam. Then there’s another tremor, and this one is different: short, immediately muffled and accompanied by a woman’s yell. He forgets about the people caught up in their houses and dashes back to the town square.
He finds a woman of a race he doesn’t know, standing square with her arms outstretched. She’s looking up at the dam with her teeth gritted. Muscles are dancing under her skin as she grunts; then she shouts again as she claps her hands and there’s a long scraping sound from the dam.
Nike watches the water rivulets weaken and trickle to a halt while she’s moving her arms forcefully, as if pushing against a great weight. He recognises the movement. It’s been a long time since he’s seen someone move like that, almost three hundred years, but it’s a sight he could never forget.
When she relaxes and lets her arms down, all the cracks have disappeared and the tremors have stopped. Nike walks up to her.
“You’re the Guardian of Earth, aren’t you?”
She rolls her shoulders and groans. She doesn’t turn to face him. “I am.” A snake-like creature hovers next to her, its tail coiled around her neck, transfixing Nike with its gaze. “My name is Razi, daughter of Stein and Kafendre. What’s your name?”
She smiles. “It’s my job. I’m just glad that I got here in time. And that I didn’t break any bones on the landing…” She pats the boulder next to her. It sits in the middle of a small crater and Nike recalls, yes, he has seen this trick as well. She moved the boulder with telekinesis while holding on to it. That’s how she was able to get here so quickly after the dam started breaking.
Then the snake perks up and looks at the dam. Razi turns slightly and extends her arm toward the great stone wall, fingers splayed. Then, slowly, she coils them into a fist. “You’ll have to excuse me,” she says, still looking at Nike. “I need to make sure the dam is safe. Tell everyone to get out of the town hall, there’s no more danger. If someone got hurt during the evacuation, I’ll tend to them. I’ll take the sick ones, too.”
When she comes back, it’s almost nightfall. Nike has been pacing around the village. He wants to see the lake, he knows that Klogg is waiting for him to come back, but he wants to ask Razi about something and he’s afraid that if he left, he’d miss her. “There you are,” he says with relief.
“Here I am,” she nods. She sets her boulder down, as easily as if it was a pebble and not twice her weight. The snake creature stares him in the eye. Its tongue flicks out, once, twice. “Sorry it took so long. The entire dam was cracked up, I had to make sure it wouldn’t shatter again. Have you asked if there are any wounded or sick?”
“There’s a guy who sprained his ankle on his way to the town hall,” Nike nods. “A few sick people, too, and one broken arm from a week ago. I’ve asked where they live. I can take you to their houses.”
“Lead the way.”
Razi receives the villagers’ gratitude with a grace that betrays that saving lives is her daily bread. She sits on their beds, converses lightly, and rests her hand on the back of their necks. The snake’s tongue slips out, tasting the air. Its crystal clear eyes swim with all shades of green as colour returns to their faces and they tell Razi in surprise that they can feel no more pain. She smiles and tells them to take good care of themselves. She seems a little more tired with each visit. Nike guides her from house to house and wonders how mad Klogg will be when he returns this late.
“This was the last one, right?” Razi asks when they come out of a house at the west end of the village.
“Yeah,” Nike nods.
“Good,” she mutters, takes his hand and leans against his shoulder in exhaustion. “Let’s get somewhere to sleep.”
The snake watches his surprised expression. She pulls away. “Is there a problem?”
“I already have someone.”
She chuckles. “Damn. All the good ones are already taken. Fine then. Let’s see if we can get treated to a beer at least.”
They come into the town hall, which doubles as an inn. The villagers are celebrating avoiding a catastrophe by a hair’s breadth and they are more than happy to treat their heroes to a dinner and a few drinks. Razi seems to flow naturally with the celebration, smiling, chatting, the snake resting on her shoulders, the boulder stashed by her side. She explains readily: the snake is her familiar, it has no name just like her left arm has no name. It’s connected to her at the spine and it serves as a pair of eyes and an additional limb. The boulder? A piece of her homeland. All of her siblings carry one on their travels. “Only theirs isn’t so big,” she smiles. “I’m the oldest, after all.”
It’s so hard to wait. All Nike wants is to lead her outside and talk to her. But he knows that she will hate his question. She has a right to celebrate. She saved his life, too.
And Klogg can wait.
It’s an hour later that Razi rests her head on her forearms. “I’m tired,” she mumbles. “Is there somewhere I can sleep?”
Nike gets the mayor, who leads them to the attic. There are five beds, stacked one next to the other.
“Aww, just like when I was little,” Razi comments fondly.
Nike excuses himself for an evening jog and leaves her politely alone. The question burns on his lips. He runs faster. Just a little more. Maybe she’ll be asleep when he gets back. All the better. He can wait until the morning. He can wait. He can wait.
I can wait forever.
She isn’t asleep when he gets back.
“Do you do this every evening?” she asks curiously while he’s rinsing his face in a basin. She doesn’t look away when he starts taking his clothes off. He gives a her a look.
“Do you mind?”
“Huh? Oh, I’m not peeping. My eyes are down here,” she points to the snake, hidden under the sheets.
“Then what are the goggles for?”
She hesitates a little. “To protect and hide my other eyes.” She shifts on the bed and begins explaining. “Our children go blind a few minutes after they’re born. As soon as their eyes touch the air, they begin to fester. It’s said that Arven screwed up a long time ago and he never bothered to fix his mistake.” She touches the thick black goggles wrapped around her head. “These reduce the pain and mitigate the inflammation. So don’t worry, I’m not watching you. That is, unless you want me to.”
“No thanks.”
She snickers and continues not-watching him. It feels strange while he’s taking his shirt and shorts off. He has to remind himself that she can’t see. Ah, so that’s why the snake is always watching him. It’s her way of making eye contact.
“I wanted to ask you something,” he says finally, splashing water as he washes his arms.
“Go on,” she smiles.
“Do you remember someone called Krevel?”
She puckers her lips. “Doesn’t ring a bell. Should I know them?”
“He was my brother.” For a moment, all the rest is caught in his throat on that one word. Was.
Razi notices. “I’m sorry,” she mumbles. “We can’t save them all.”
He just breathes for a moment, waiting for the clog in his throat to disappear. It doesn’t, so he returns to the bath. He doesn’t know how to continue anyway.
“How long has it been?” she asks sympathetically.
“I don’t know,” he manages to say. “Something like fifty years, I think. I hadn’t seen him for a long time before that.”
“Fifty years,” she repeats softly. “That’s longer than I’ve been alive. I’m just thirty-nine.”
He hums and pulls his shirt back over his head. He can’t do it, after all. He didn’t expect talking about it would hurt so much. He thought it has been long enough. But it hasn’t. The pain is still at the back of his mind, always present, just waiting to be invited into his thoughts.
“He didn’t come back?”
His jaw clenches. “No.”
“Then he’s happy on the other side.”
He isn’t. He’s gone, gone, gone from this world. Gone forever. I’ll never see him again.
He swallows and decides to try one more time. “You don’t remember him, then?”
He can see her tense up. The snake hisses quietly from the sheets, suddenly restless.
“You do realise,” she says slowly, “that you’re asking me if I remember someone who died before I was born.”
Nike nods. Then he remembers that she can’t see him, and answers: “Yeah.”
She presses her lips together. “You don’t happen to be a Neverhoodian, do you?” All her warmth is gone. Suddenly she’s guarded, silent.
“It’s complicated. But I lived there for a long time, yes.” And then decides to quit the pleasantries and just say what he wants. It’s a relief. He isn’t the Hoodian who’s never told a lie anymore, but it’s still so comfortable to let go of all the inhibitions. “I knew Arig,” he says outright. “And he loved my brother like nothing in the world. I always thought that kind of love spans life and death. I thought you’d remember him.”
Razi pinches the bridge of her nose. “I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt and assume you don’t know how insulting that is.”
Nike gulps. She’s graciously giving him one more chance, but he already knows how much the Guardians hate being compared to their previous incarnations. He still presses on. The need to ask is stronger than him. If she can remember anything… “I can take you to the Neverhood. It isn’t very far. Maybe once you’re there, you’ll remember something.”
Razi lets out a long, belaboured breath, trying to keep her calm. “I’ll give you a piece of advice,” she growls. “Don’t ever suggest that I have anything but my soul in common with the previous Earth Guardians. Don’t suggest that with any of my sisters or brothers. They aren’t as level-headed as I am. And especially, never suggest we share as much as a thought with the Neverhoodian generation.”
Nike blinks in surprise. “Why not?”
Razi’s familiar raises its head from the bed sheets and glares at him. “Are you stupid?! Because they were fucking failures! They let the Emperor come to power. They allowed countless worlds to be enslaved. They let all of Quater’s sons and even Quater himself to be killed! They were our most powerful incarnation, and still they managed to let the entire universe down!” She’s breathing hard and Nike has to admit: he didn’t know just how much he had insulted her. He still remembers their Guardians fondly. He still recalls Arig’s gentle smile. But Razi doesn’t remember the Neverhood. She doesn’t remember Krevel, whom her previous self used to love so much. It was all for nothing.
“I’m sorry,” he says and hugs himself. Suddenly he wishes Klogg were here. Despite his terrible moods, he still brings Nike comfort. But he has left Klogg alone at their camp site, all for the chance of talking to someone who might remember Krevel…
“…Are you seriously crying?” Razi asks dubiously.
Nike wipes at his eyes. “I miss him,” he sniffles. “I wish I could have him back. I wish I could talk to him one more time.”
Razi sighs. Then she gets up from her bed and walk over to wrap her arms around him. Nike can feel her familiar rest around his neck, pulling him closer.
“But he’s gone,” she says. “Both him and Arig. All that is left is me and you. Don’t walk in the shadow of your past.”
He nods into her shoulder, unable to respond.
He wakes up before dawn. Razi is still asleep in her bed, her familiar resting on her chest, eyes open, unblinking. He comes to her side and leans down, planting a kiss on her black goggles.
She hums. “Safe travels.”
“You too.”
Outside the town hall, he stretches briefly and then looks up the mountain side. He notices a ladder in the steep dam wall, little more than a line of hollows. He doesn’t think it was there on the previous day. Razi must have made it.
He arrives at the mountain top just as the sun peeks over the horizon. He looks down at the village below him, wondering how long a free fall from here would be. But he’s as free as can be. Almost. There’s one last chain binding him down.
The lake covers almost the entire mountain top. It’s deep and crystal clear just like the legend says, but it isn’t bluish or colourless; it’s red. In an uncanny way, it reminds Nike of the eyes of Razi’s familiar. When he leans above the water, he can see his own reflection dancing on its surface. It seems to be red-skinned; like Klogg, like Krevel.
He finds no traversable way down, so he makes use of Razi’s ladder again. He wonders if he would have been able to climb the mountain at all if it wasn’t for her help. When he’s at the foot of the mountain again, he starts jogging. Gradually he picks up speed, making toward their camp site.
He has to tell Klogg that he can’t go on like this for much longer.
The shadow of his past is a path too narrow to walk in a world without Krevel.
