How Does It Feel When You Can't Love Someone?

How does it feel when you can’t love someone?
When your heart starts beating every time you see him and you know that you can’t touch him? When every glance is important?
When you know you can never love him?

---

I have dreams about him. I dream that he smiles at me and I’m so happy I could die.
I dream that we walk together.
I dream that he conducts my birthday party.
And soon after our eyes meet…
I wake up.
Trying to hold onto the feeling of happiness he gave me.

---

It’s forbidden. I know I can’t have it.
And I will never have it.
How does it feel?
Have you ever felt the same?

***

How does it feel when you can’t love someone?
When you know that you make him happy, so happy. When you see how his eyes sparkle whenever you give him a smile, or even whenever you look at him.
When you catch his glances everywhere you go.
How does it feel to be loved and not being able to love back?

---

Sometimes I look at the letter he wrote to me and I get lost in the memories of how we got close.
Unfortunately it was something more for him than for me.
And unfortunately…
or maybe fortunately?...
we are both in a long-term relationship with someone else.

---

It won’t work. He has to realise that.
And I think he realises it.
Yet there is hope in his eyes every time I look at him.
It’s heart-breaking.

It has to stop before we hurt each other and before we hurt those we care about the most.
It has to stop.

Mé sérce je v troskách a logika taky. Zpátky na fanfikce.