It's Painful

“Ow! Fuck! Ow! Shit! Fuck! Ow!”
Michelangelo strolled into Donatello’s room, wearing a huge grin. “’Sup dude,” he greeted his brother. “You hearing that?”
“Yes, it’s starting to get on my nerves,” Donatello answered. “Who is that?”
“Dude. It’s Raph.” If possible, Mikey’s grin got wider.
“Well what pains him so much?”
“Shit! Ow ow ow! Fuck. Fuck! Ow! Shit! Ow!”
Behind a bathroom door (tightly shut) (and locked), Raphael was sitting on the toilet seat. A constant stream of various combinations of shit, fuck and ow was flowing out of his mouth. He was experiencing the most painful evacuation in his life. Hell, all the wounds which the Shredder had inflicted on him were easier to bear.
In front of the bathroom door, Leonardo was standing. He seemed close to desperate. Every 30 seconds (or so) he knocked on the door.
“Raph? Can you hear me? I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to! If you didn’t tell me to go on, I would have never…!”
“Never what? Never what oh gracious leader?” Michelangelo came up behind Leo.
“Can we help somehow?” Donatello asked.
Leonardo went red. “N-no, I don’t think so. Thank you guys, but me and Raph can handle it.”
“Shit!” a particularly loud yell confirmed it from the bathroom. “It’s like my crap’s trying to rape me!”
“What the… sh-shell!” Michelangelo burst out laughing. “You guys didn’t – oh I get it now! I’m sorry Leo, but this is just priceless!”
Leonardo was steaming, glaring murder at Michelangelo. He didn’t appreciate his humour. At least Donatello was decent enough to settle for a facepalm.
“This is why I tell you that preparation is important, guys,” Don said. “Raph, hang on! I’m going to get some ointment that will help you!”

On anální sex bolí?! Zpět na fanfikce, prosím.