Why Not

“Guys, I can’t take it anymore,“ Donatello said and plopped down on the sofa.
“Can’t take what?” Michelangelo asked, raising his head from Raphael’s lips.
“Our relationship. Of Leo and me.” Donatello buried his face in his hands and groaned. Michelangelo looked at Raphael and then back at Donatello.
“Why? I thought you were getting along fine,” he cocked his head.
“We are,” spoke Donatello through his fingers, “of course we are. Never better. While you two fight every day, I can’t remember the last time I fought with Leo. I can’t remember the last time Leo raised his voice to me about anything.”
“Is that a bad thing?” asked Michelangelo.
“No, it isn’t. We dislike quarelling. We solve things with rational arguments until we understand each other’s points of view so well that...” Donatello swallowed and paused. “It’s terrible...” he whispered.
“Why?” Michelangelo exchanged confused looks with Raphael.
“Because we understand each other so well that there’s no friction between us! No heat! I love him, he loves me and that’s it. You know, I can tell you the exact times and locations that Leo will kiss me, and where he’ll kiss me...”
“I don’t wanna know,” Raphael said quickly.
“I can tell you where he is, what he’s doing and usually what he’s thinking too. I know him so well that sometimes I think I know him better than he knows himself. The problem is, so does he. How can you live with somebody,” poured out of Donatello’s mouth along with unmistakable desperation, “that is convinced that you fit his little scheme perfectly?”
“Dude, listen to what you just said.”
“I know Mike! I know that he thinks the same about me too, and that’s what makes it so terrible. We know everything about each other. And we try our hardest not to know the rest. We ignore the parts we don’t want to see to the point of hardly knowing they’re there at all!”
Michelangelo turned on Raphael’s lap to face Donatello. “You sound awfully frustrated,” he said sympathetically.
“I am,” Donatello admitted below his hands. “Do you guys know when we last had sex?”
“I don’t want to know!” Raphael retorted, wrapping his arms around Michelangelo’s waist.
“And you never will, because it was so long ago that I don’t know it either.”
“Hold on, the last time you described your private life, wasn’t Leo a sexy beast?” For this, Raphael punched Michelangelo in the ribs lightly.
“How long ago was that?”
“About half a year ago.”
“Figures.” Donatello sighed. “He was. He isn’t anymore. You’d think he’s had enough of sex and wants to spend the rest of his life in celibacy.”
“And that’s not the only thing, is it?” Michelangelo anticipated.
“No. But it speaks for all. I think that...” Donatello raised his head, staring off into space, “our relationship is dead,” he stated.
Raphael hissed. “Harsh words for Fearless Leader. You sure you ain’t underestimating him?”
“After six months of being with him? No.” Donatello bent over until his head rested on his knees. “I think I’ll start cheating on him for the sake of some excitement.”
“You think Raph will be willing to share?” Michelangelo giggled.
“Personally I think Leo’s got some say in this,” Raphael said with a frown.
“Why?” Donatello shrugged. “He probably knows I’m here talking to you as well. It’s not like he’ll be surprised.”
“And what about some code of honour?”
“Please. I’ve been living with code of honour personified. I’ll be glad to get away from it a little.”
“Got your point dude.”

A proto se tvé OTP rozpadne po půl roce. Zpět na fanfikce.