Fanfiction
My fanfiction can be divided into four parts:
- Oneshots with no connections. Oneshots are a delight and salve for the soul, because they contain a large portion of PWP (Porn Without Plot), which keeps authors entertained when they're sexually frustrated.
- Poetically written things. Because of their higher rate of obscurity (read: it's balderdash) they're singled out of oneshots as caviar for the general.
- More or less linked stories that make up a larger whole. This pseudonovel has no name, for it deserves none. It describes the process of how the turtles changed from normal mutants, who we know from the 2003 cartoon, to OT4 (One True Foursome). Writing it is a lousy job, because I'm not talented enough to do it in one haul, and as time goes by my grasp of the turtles changes, changing the story along with it. This way I often find out that the beautiful piece I wrote a month ago isn't up-to-date anymore, because the storyline has changed and there's no place for the scene in it. Thus...
- Rubbish. Stories that were supposed to be in the pseudonovel, but were displaced by evolution. However they're still too good to be discarded completely.
The axis of my work (this goes especially for the pseudonovel) is of course Czech. I write in English only occasionally, when I'm feeling quirky, so what you find here won't probably make much sense. For the oneshots that do make sense because they were written that way, you can thank KameChuu.
Although the captions differ from what you may be used to, some still feature rating. I'm not deluded that it would scare youngsters off, nevertheless bear in mind that you have been warned.
Bullets (turtlecest free)
Characteristics: April 2011, a short teaser similar to what you get at the beginning of each 2003 episode. Rating 17+ for language.
Status: Complete.
Summary: The turtles have been lucky. Until now.
It All Comes Down to One Thing (potentially turtlecest free)
Characteristics: April 2011, oneshot inspired by a deathly weary state that I experienced one day. The lenght got slightly out of hand (for that time anyway).
Status: Complete.
Summary: Once upon a time while Leonardo was roaming the jungle. One turtle was kidnapped by a lone wolf, some German agent Bruder. Rescue operation went just fine, but something was wrong. Thank goodness there's one thing that you can blame anything on.
Red Bandannas (potentially turtlecest free)
Characteristics: May 2011, a very short reflection on red masks.
Status: Complete.
Summary: Leonardo has noticed something and it makes him wonder.
The Main Thing Is to Focus
Characteristics: May 2011, originally Czech, later translated. Rating 16+.
Status: Complete.
Summary: Leonardo's new, strange and sometimes very pleasurable relationship with his brothers mustn't break his focus.
He's Leo, for Shell's Sake
Characteristics: July 2011, Leonardo's instruction manual. The font's colour stands for the mask of talking turtle.
Status: Complete.
Summary: Raphael, Donatello and Michelangelo have gathered to discuss how to get under Leonardo's plastron.
Fine Laces
Characteristics: July 2011, a fanfic for entertainment. Rating 15+.
Status: Complete.
Summary: Somebody's plastered Leonardo's room with fine laces...
Soup
Characteristics: September 2011, my first English fic meant for public. Rating 18+, warning - bloodthirsty Leo. The recipe is from here, the illustration was given by KameChuu.
Status: Complete.
Summary: Today in the Lair, turtle soup is cooked.
Enema
Characteristics: October 2011, my second English fic meant for public. Rating 16+. Illustration was given by KameChuu.
Status: Complete.
Summary: Today in the Lair, things are cleaned.
One Fine Day
Characteristics: October 2011, my third English fic meant for public. Rating 16+, warning - too long.
Status: Complete.
Summary: Today in the Lair, spin the bottle is played.
Epic Rapping Don of History (potentially turtlecest free)
Characteristics: October 2011, drabble for TurtleFeva, inspired by her picture FreeStyle. Rating 18+, warning - rap. Music is from here.
Status: Complete.
Summary: Donatello has overdosed on coffee and started rapping.
Stalker
Characteristics: October 2011, art trade with KameChuu for her illustration. Rating 18+, warning - self-abuse.
Status: Complete.
Summary: Today in the Lair, turtles are stalked.
Morning
Characteristics: October 2011, art trade with KameChuu for her illustration. Rating 15+, warning - breaking up into pairings. God forbid them from jealousy, I can't work with it at all.
Status: Complete.
Summary: Today in the Lair, borders are set.
Schrank
Characteristics: October 2011, art trade with KameChuu for her illustration. Rating 16+, warning - all turtles vs. Mikey.
Status: Complete.
Summary: Today in the Lair, turtles hide.
Why Not
Characteristics: October 2011, entry to a turtlecest contest, point of which was to show why my OTP wouldn't work. Strangely, it won...
Status: Complete.
Summary: Donatello explains why LD doesn't work.
Kersplat
Characteristics: November 2011, art trade with KameChuu for her illustration. Rating 16+, warning - all turtles vs. Mikey (again).
Status: Complete.
Summary: Today in the Lair, things are drawn.
Better than You
Characteristics: December 2011, Christmas present for KameChuu. Rating 18+, warning - both parts are weird, each in its own way.
Status: Complete.
Summary: Today in the Lair, challenges are made.
I'll Wait for You
Characteristics: December 2011, angst parody. If you don't comprehend the plot, the numbers order paragraphs chronologically. Warning - this method might not work.
Status: Complete.
Summary: Angst.
Interview
Characteristics: A timeless creation, the infamous anticenter interview revisited. Kifu and Xile's lines are left in exactly the same form as in the original (including the typos and mistakes), and the only difference is the presence of a commentator - me alias ROSS.
Status: Complete.
Summary: Two anticesters and one turtlecester talk about how turtlecest will bring forth the end of the world.
Of Mistakes (turtlecest free)
Characteristics: February 2012, an intelligent discussion.
Status: Complete.
Summary: What is a mistake anyway?
Night Fears
Characteristics: February 2012, a short story connected to Seventh Little Story from the collection Little Stories.
Status: Complete.
Summary: An unspecified brother can't sleep at night, so he crawls into Leonardo's bed.
What Ninjas Do
Characteristics: February 2012, crack for killing time. Rating 15+, warning - death of all characters. I've always wanted to write something like this.
Status: Complete.
Summary: A ninja's life is very hard.
It Had Been an Accident (turtlecest free)
Characteristics: February 2012, very short angst. Rating 15+, warning - character death.
Status: Complete.
Summary: Not as planned.
Silent Steps
Characteristics: March 2012, art trade with KameChuu for her illustration.
Status: Complete.
Summary: Today in the Lair, spies are spied upon.
Little Stories
Characteristics: Winter 2012, a collection of drabbles, one of them from the pseudonovel. Rating 18+, warning - rapid changes of moods.
Status: Open.
Summary: God I love being a turtle!
Little Truths
Characteristics: Winter 2012, a collection of little truths. Rating 15+, warning - mpreg.
Status: Open.
Summary: God I love being a turtle!
Kill Everybody (turtlecest free)
Characteristics: March 2012, entry to a contest, point of which was writing a drabble to a given picture. Rating 17+, warning - character death.
Status: Complete.
Summary: Leonardo is having a bad day.
Big Sister (turtlecest free)
Characteristics: April 2012, a persistent idea.
Status: Complete.
Summary: Why I don't do Donatello/April.
mikey come here
Characteristics: May 2012, porn parody. Rating 15+.
Status: Complete.
Summary: The turtles fuc*itty-fuc*y-fuc*.
Bubbles
Characteristics: May 2012, art trade with KameChuu for her illustration. Rating 18+.
Status: Complete.
Summary: Today in the Lair, bubbles are blown.
Blizzard
Characteristics: July 2012, art trade with KameChuu.
Status: Complete.
Summary: Today in the countryside, turtles freeze.
Blowjob
Characteristics: August 2012, a sudden idea. Rating 17+, warning - no plot.
Status: Complete.
Summary: Leonardo blows your mind.
Full Stop
Characteristics: August 2012, a drabble about another night of nearly no sleep. Rating 15+, warning - logic.
Status: Complete.
Summary: How do you put Donatello to sleep?
Cat
Characteristics: August 2012, art trade with KameChuu for her illustration. Rating 15+, warning - cats.
Status: Complete.
Summary: Today in the Lair, songs are sung.
I Hate You
Characteristics: August 2012, a fic about Raph's incompetency with words.
Status: Complete.
Summary: Raphael and Leonardo have always had a bit of a special relationship.
I Dare You to Explain
Characteristics: August 2012, autotherapy.
Status: Complete.
Summary: Donatello had no idea how easily Leo can be insulted.
Simple Pleasures
Characteristics: September 2012, a fanfiction about manipulation and OT4.
Status: Complete.
Summary: Leonardo has conducted an all-day training. What are his motives?
Konichiwa (turtlecest free)
Characteristics: September 2012, a slightly symbolic fic with a brand new element - Splinter as a major character. It's slightly different from canon, but oh well.
Status: Complete.
Summary: Konichiwa, meaning good day, says Splinter and begins his story.
Touch My Tenders
Characteristics: September 2012, an artfic for Touch My Tenders by KameChuu. Rating 16+, warning - Raphael as uke.
Status: Complete.
Summary: The classic is Raphael on Donatello. According to KameChuu, it's just the other way around.
Don's Free to Dream
Characteristics: October 2012, angst about Donatello who runs away from reality. Rating 18+, warning - brace yourself.
Status: Complete.
Summary: Remember Michelangelo's epic speech, where among other he spoke the name of this fic? Now set this into Fast Forward and imagine how many ways to dream there are for Donatello.
A Few Soft Sounds
Characteristics: December 2012, night inspiration. Notice how DL pwns all other pairings.
Status: Complete.
Summary: Donatello and Leonardo are together. They feel as in a trance.
Inside Outside
Characteristics: December 2012, morning inspiration. Here I methodically warn against indlging in sex, and especially LD.
Status: Complete.
Summary: Michelangelo thinks that combining of inner and outer loves is tearing the turtle team to pieces.
Jailhouse
Characteristics: January 2013, art trade with KameChuu. Rating 18+, warning - dominance.
Status: Complete.
Summary: Leonardo plans to enter a jailhouse and free a Green Peace member. Yes, he has hidden agenda.
This Morning Was Good (turtlecest free)
Characteristics: February 2013, a plot bunny based fanfiction.
Status: Complete.
Summary: Donatello finds out why fighting is constant in the Lair and why Leo and Raph indulge in it so vigorously.
It's Painful
Characteristics: July 2013, my answer to everyone who writes about anal sex without ever trying it. Rating 16+, warning - strong language.
Status: Complete.
Summary: Why is Raphael so vulgar today?
Sex Fixes Everything
Characteristics: May 2013, a stupid drabble on a phenomenon I've never encountered.
Status: Complete.
Summary: Michelangelo reckons that sex fixes everything. Donatello disagrees.
Senses
Characteristics: May 2011, a short free verse poem. Rating 16+.
Status: Complete.
Summary: Each of the four turtles has a dominant sense.
Night Sky (turtlecest free)
Characteristics: December 2011, a variation to Same as It Never Was.
Status: Complete.
Summary: Everything about Leonardo went pretty downhill once Donatello disappeared.
Thinking (turtlecest free)
Characteristics: December 2011, Leonardo and Donatello's thoughts on telepathy.
Status: Complete.
Summary: Thinking, what a miraculous process.
And Then His Head Exploded (turtlecest free)
Characteristics: December 2011, angst parody. The font's colour stands for the mask of talking turtle and for Splinter's fur.
Status: Complete.
Summary: Donatello meditated so strenuously that his head exploded. His soul will forever float about the Lair and project emotions of others into itself.
Dream a Time
Characteristics: February 2012, lyrics to my piano composition. The notes (that can also be played) can be found here.
Status: Complete.
Summary: SaiNW Michelangelo sings about his memories of happier times.
Breathe (turtlecest free)
Characteristics: February 2012, my favourite poem form - concrete poetry.
Status: Complete.
Summary: What Leonardo was thinking when the Foot threw him through the window of April's flat.
The Circle of Life
Characteristics: May 2012, a free verse poem celebrating turtlecest and OT4.
Status: Complete.
Summary: Donatello supposes that when they were little turtles they used to sleep in one pile, keeping each other warm.
A Favourite Brother (potentially turtlecest free)
Characteristics: July 2012, fic written to kill time gone cliché about unrequited love.
Status: Complete.
Summary: Every turtle has a favourite among his brothers.
Sin
Characteristics: August 2012, a poem of sins felt by every sense. Rating 18+, warning - rape.
Status: Complete.
Summary: Murder and sex, oh those horrible sins, didn't avoid the turtles.
How Does It Feel When You Can't Love Someone?
Characteristics: December 2013, authotherapy badly disguised as a TMNT fanfic.
Status: Complete.
Summary: Two unspeficied turtles deal with the dangers of unrequited love.
Instincts
Characteristics: March 2012, a piece of my path to OT4.
Status: Up-to-date.
Summary: During the episode Same as it Never Was, Donatello saw a bit more than death and misery.
Donatello's Thoughts
Characteristics: March 2011, a piece of my path to OT4.
Status: Up-to-date.
Summary: A few scrappy thoughts about April and the turtles.
Insecure
Characteristics: August 2011, a piece of my path to OT4.
Status: Up-to-date.
Summary: For the first time Raphael thinks before sleeping with Donatello.
Nothing Could Stand in his Way
Characteristics: August 2011, a piece of my path to OT4. The font's colour stands for the mask of talking turtle, Splinter's fur, and April's and Casey's eyes.
Status: Up-to-date.
Summary: Having finally decided to come back, Leonardo finds out that things are different from what he's expected.
Fifth Little Story
Characteristics: Winter 2012, a piece of my path to OT4. From the collection Little Stories.
Status: Up-to-date.
Summary: Having finally decided to come back, Leonardo finds out that things are different from what he's expected.
Too Much, Too Fast
Characteristics: May 2011, a former piece of my path to OT4, discarded as too catastrophic a scenario. Warning - if you read this, you will be even more confused as to what happened.
Status: Complete.
Summary: When Leonardo leaves, Michelangelo's world begins to collapse.